So I have been watching the Channel 9 series 'Big Extreme Makeover'. It has been great to see people in the same or similar situations as me and how they have worked through their weight loss journey's. Some have had surgery, some have put weight back on. One has even become a motivational speaker!
Last night was the fianl episode. It featured a young lady called Bonnie. She's 22 and ended up moving away from her home to get away from friends and things that were sabotaging her efforts. She did really well and lost over 30kgs in the 12 months. There was one thing from this show that has started a little idea growing in my mind......
She climbed the 1000 steps at the Three Sisters in the Blue Mountains with her trainer as one of her challenges. So James and I have decided it is a challenge we can meet and we are plannning to hit the steps sometime in October. OMG!! Can I do it? I really want to but 1000 steps? I struggle with 20!
So I think this will be as much of a mental challenge as a physical one. And when I make it to the top the feeling of achievement will be just awesome. I will focus on that. And there will be photo's I promise. Just watch this space in October!!
Thursday, 23 June 2011
Monday, 20 June 2011
Feeling flat
Today has been a tough day. Nothing particularly bad happened I am just feeling really flat. All of a sudden I feel like this diet and exercise thing is hard, maybe too hard. I am not sure why I feel like this but it sucks.
Just finished a PT session. Normally I feel great after them but today I cried all the way home. How stupid is that? And it was a tough session, I should feel really proud of myself and I don't. I don't know how to pull myself out of this either.
Today on the Weight Watchers forums a member posted about how negative most of the posts are and she felt we should start looking at the good things as well. So she posted five things she liked about herself. She liked her skin and her arms and that she's a good friend and stuff like that. I sat there reading it feeling worse and worse. I couldn't think of five things I genuinely like about myself. I know I could do the usual "I have nice eyes" and stuff but to be honest I can not think of anything I really, truly, honestly like about me. How bloody pathetic is that? God, I am even sobbing while I type this.
I just feel so very, very flat. And blah. And tired. And fed up.
I know I chose the lose weight option of the saying in my last post and I will stick to that but I knew there would be tough days. There would be hard times and pain, both physical and emotional. I guess this will be the true test of my desire to see this through. If I can keep pushing and keep on track through my first down time then I can get to the end.
So off to wash my PT clothes, cook a healthy dinner and enjoy the peace in my home for 10 minutes before James and the girls get home.
Just finished a PT session. Normally I feel great after them but today I cried all the way home. How stupid is that? And it was a tough session, I should feel really proud of myself and I don't. I don't know how to pull myself out of this either.
Today on the Weight Watchers forums a member posted about how negative most of the posts are and she felt we should start looking at the good things as well. So she posted five things she liked about herself. She liked her skin and her arms and that she's a good friend and stuff like that. I sat there reading it feeling worse and worse. I couldn't think of five things I genuinely like about myself. I know I could do the usual "I have nice eyes" and stuff but to be honest I can not think of anything I really, truly, honestly like about me. How bloody pathetic is that? God, I am even sobbing while I type this.
I just feel so very, very flat. And blah. And tired. And fed up.
I know I chose the lose weight option of the saying in my last post and I will stick to that but I knew there would be tough days. There would be hard times and pain, both physical and emotional. I guess this will be the true test of my desire to see this through. If I can keep pushing and keep on track through my first down time then I can get to the end.
So off to wash my PT clothes, cook a healthy dinner and enjoy the peace in my home for 10 minutes before James and the girls get home.
Tuesday, 14 June 2011
Choice....
I just read this saying and I LOVE it!!
"Being overweight is hard.
Losing weight is hard.
Choose your hard!"
Well I chose losing weight. And if that involves some hard work, either physical or emotional I'm up for it.
I realised over this past weekend how easy it is to let things go. I didn't exercise and I had a mini pig-out :( I knew I was doing it and that it was wrong but I did it anyway. I ate some sweet biscuits. They were in the house because James had gone 4WD'ing, I stayed home because I wasn't feeling very well but I made him some tea in a thermos and bought some biscuits to go with it. He didn't eat them so they came home and went into the cupboard.
I caught myself after #5 and realised what I was doing and stopped. I will now be giving them to the girls or better still, throwing them away. Can't have temptation near me as I have shown that I am not strong enough yet. Although I am very pleased that I did stop and I did realise what I was doing. Wish I could work out why though.
So that's my hard choice for today - to throw food away before it sabotages my efforts. And for me to throw food away is huge. It will hurt but I will do it!
"Being overweight is hard.
Losing weight is hard.
Choose your hard!"
Well I chose losing weight. And if that involves some hard work, either physical or emotional I'm up for it.
I realised over this past weekend how easy it is to let things go. I didn't exercise and I had a mini pig-out :( I knew I was doing it and that it was wrong but I did it anyway. I ate some sweet biscuits. They were in the house because James had gone 4WD'ing, I stayed home because I wasn't feeling very well but I made him some tea in a thermos and bought some biscuits to go with it. He didn't eat them so they came home and went into the cupboard.
I caught myself after #5 and realised what I was doing and stopped. I will now be giving them to the girls or better still, throwing them away. Can't have temptation near me as I have shown that I am not strong enough yet. Although I am very pleased that I did stop and I did realise what I was doing. Wish I could work out why though.
So that's my hard choice for today - to throw food away before it sabotages my efforts. And for me to throw food away is huge. It will hurt but I will do it!
Sunday, 12 June 2011
Dancing (with the stars!)
I am so very excited!! I love to dance, I'm not very good at it but I just love to do it. Several times over the years I have asked James to come and do a ballroom class (I did ballroom as a teenager) with me and he has always baulked at the idea. But last week I found a class and asked him to come with me and he said yes!! So excited!!
Ballroom is quite a workout so we can have fun while getting fit. I am really, really excited about it and can't wait for term 3 to start so we can get going. Happy, happy, happy!!!!!
Ballroom is quite a workout so we can have fun while getting fit. I am really, really excited about it and can't wait for term 3 to start so we can get going. Happy, happy, happy!!!!!
Messages from Mum....
Hi Mum!! I know you're out there and reading this!! :)
During the week my mum sent my a lovely email. She wanted to tell me that she had read my blogs and thought I was doing really well. These comments mean a great deal to me. Sorry Mum, but to be honest I never feel as if I do anything that pleases you. I know you will understand what I mean without going into great details here but to have your support on this, for you to truly believe I can do it means so much to me. More than I think you will ever know.
The other message about the Calisthenics adjudications - that the judging says more about the judges than the judged is so very true. And that while I do understand that people laughing at me, or judging me in anyway says way more about them than it does about me, I still can't quite bring myself to get on a bike!
I am prepared to make a deal with you all though. If I achieve my goal of losing 14kgs by James' birthday on 22 September this year, I will start to incorporate bike riding in my fitness regime. I promise. And even if I miss the deadline, or make it early (wouldn't that be awesome?), I will begin riding then. Basically at 14kgs lost I will ride. Promise!
During the week my mum sent my a lovely email. She wanted to tell me that she had read my blogs and thought I was doing really well. These comments mean a great deal to me. Sorry Mum, but to be honest I never feel as if I do anything that pleases you. I know you will understand what I mean without going into great details here but to have your support on this, for you to truly believe I can do it means so much to me. More than I think you will ever know.
The other message about the Calisthenics adjudications - that the judging says more about the judges than the judged is so very true. And that while I do understand that people laughing at me, or judging me in anyway says way more about them than it does about me, I still can't quite bring myself to get on a bike!
I am prepared to make a deal with you all though. If I achieve my goal of losing 14kgs by James' birthday on 22 September this year, I will start to incorporate bike riding in my fitness regime. I promise. And even if I miss the deadline, or make it early (wouldn't that be awesome?), I will begin riding then. Basically at 14kgs lost I will ride. Promise!
Another one bites the dust!
Sorry, I have been very slack in posting lately. Have been so busy it's just crazy! But that said I have still managed to kill another goal. Today I lost 500gr for the week making my total loss now to 7.3kgs. Yay!! It's a week later than I wanted to make it but better late than never! Last week I was disappointed when I didn't make it but I am pleased that I didn't give up and I kept pushing myself so that I would make it.
Friday, 3 June 2011
Something good....
So my good story for today is again about goals and achieving them. This time it is a goal I had completely overlooked......
I went to see Dr Helen today. That in itself felt great as she was so pleased with my efforts and my progress. This journey is ultimately about improving my health but I had overlooked health milestones as goals that I can achieve, and achieve I did!
3 months ago Dr Helen told me I had hypertension (high blood pressure) with a reading of 140/100. She medicated me and gave me the talking to that began this journey - literally scared me to death (almost!). Over the next month or so my readings stayed the same and my meds were increased. They stopped going up and stayed steady at 135/98.
Then I began exercising.......
Today, 8 weeks later, my blood pressure is 130/82!!! That is a massive drop in a very short time. All my hard work is having an effect on my health. It isn't just about weight and measurements, it's about how I feel and about my health.
In three weeks I will be having my next HbA1c. This is a blood test to measure the average of my Blood Glucose Levels over the past three months. It is a real indicator of how much control I have over the diabetes. My last reading was 7.9, which isn't terrible but is not real good either. Hopefully between increased meds and my weight loss and exercise efforts we will see a drop here too. So I am adding this to my goal list as well......
Goal #3 - Lose 5% of body weight
Goal #4 - To continue running and achieve a 1km run before the end of June.
Goal #5 - To see a drop in my HbA1c reading at the end of June.
Can't wait to smash these ones as well!!
I went to see Dr Helen today. That in itself felt great as she was so pleased with my efforts and my progress. This journey is ultimately about improving my health but I had overlooked health milestones as goals that I can achieve, and achieve I did!
3 months ago Dr Helen told me I had hypertension (high blood pressure) with a reading of 140/100. She medicated me and gave me the talking to that began this journey - literally scared me to death (almost!). Over the next month or so my readings stayed the same and my meds were increased. They stopped going up and stayed steady at 135/98.
Then I began exercising.......
Today, 8 weeks later, my blood pressure is 130/82!!! That is a massive drop in a very short time. All my hard work is having an effect on my health. It isn't just about weight and measurements, it's about how I feel and about my health.
In three weeks I will be having my next HbA1c. This is a blood test to measure the average of my Blood Glucose Levels over the past three months. It is a real indicator of how much control I have over the diabetes. My last reading was 7.9, which isn't terrible but is not real good either. Hopefully between increased meds and my weight loss and exercise efforts we will see a drop here too. So I am adding this to my goal list as well......
Goal #3 - Lose 5% of body weight
Goal #4 - To continue running and achieve a 1km run before the end of June.
Goal #5 - To see a drop in my HbA1c reading at the end of June.
Can't wait to smash these ones as well!!
Wow, wow, wow!!!
I just found this song and it has had me in tears for the past 10 minutes. It is so beautiful and so true. I love it!
Sung by Martina McBride and written by James Slater (I believe). Here's the lyrics:
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the
world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me
strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand
around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart
has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy
she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Sung by Martina McBride and written by James Slater (I believe). Here's the lyrics:
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the
world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me
strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand
around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart
has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy
she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Thursday, 2 June 2011
No 'Good'
I saw CB yesterday and feel a bit better for it. While I am conscious of these destructive thoughts now I have to begin to change the sound of them. So instead of my thoughts sounding like me, they need to sound like Arnold Scwartznegger or put them into a tune or whatever. Apprently it will give me a 'break' from the toughts and allow some distance from them. I have to say that using Arnies voice is very effective - makes me laugh everytime!
The thing that I wanted to blog about today though is something else that came up during my session. And that is that I can sit here and type for hours on the 'bad' stuff, but I don't seem to be able to the same when things are 'good'. CB thought that was interesting and said it is something we will work on later. But for now I am left to ponder why...
Is it because I ignore good feelings? That I don't feel that the 'good' feelings are as important as the 'bad' ones? Or is it simply that there isn't that much 'good' in my life? It seems such a waste to spend all my time and energy on the bad thoughts doesn't it?
It has taken me many, many years to be able to take a compliment from someone and even then in my head I don't always believe it. There doesn't seem to be any space in my brain for the good things in life. So I guess I need to change that and I will challenge myself by writing one paragraph in here each day that is dedicated to the 'good' in me. You will have to bear with me because it really is going to be a challenge! if anyone feels like giving me some fodder for it please do so!!!
The thing that I wanted to blog about today though is something else that came up during my session. And that is that I can sit here and type for hours on the 'bad' stuff, but I don't seem to be able to the same when things are 'good'. CB thought that was interesting and said it is something we will work on later. But for now I am left to ponder why...
Is it because I ignore good feelings? That I don't feel that the 'good' feelings are as important as the 'bad' ones? Or is it simply that there isn't that much 'good' in my life? It seems such a waste to spend all my time and energy on the bad thoughts doesn't it?
It has taken me many, many years to be able to take a compliment from someone and even then in my head I don't always believe it. There doesn't seem to be any space in my brain for the good things in life. So I guess I need to change that and I will challenge myself by writing one paragraph in here each day that is dedicated to the 'good' in me. You will have to bear with me because it really is going to be a challenge! if anyone feels like giving me some fodder for it please do so!!!
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