Thursday 2 June 2011

No 'Good'

I saw CB yesterday and feel a bit better for it.  While I am conscious of these destructive thoughts now I have to begin to change the sound of them.  So instead of my thoughts sounding like me, they need to sound like Arnold Scwartznegger or put them into a tune or whatever.  Apprently it will give me a 'break' from the toughts and allow some distance from them.  I have to say that using Arnies voice is very effective - makes me laugh everytime!

The thing that I wanted to blog about today though is something else that came up during my session.  And that is that I can sit here and type for hours on the 'bad' stuff, but I don't seem to be able to the same when things are 'good'.  CB thought that was interesting and said it is something we will work on later.  But for now I am left to ponder why...

Is it because I ignore good feelings?  That I don't feel that the 'good' feelings are as important as the 'bad' ones? Or is it simply that there isn't that much 'good' in my life? It seems such a waste to spend all my time and energy on the bad thoughts doesn't it?

It has taken me many, many years to be able to take a compliment from someone and even then in my head I don't always believe it.  There doesn't seem to be any space in my brain for the good things in life.  So I guess I need to change that and I will challenge myself by writing one paragraph in here each day that is dedicated to the 'good' in me.  You will have to bear with me because it really is going to be a challenge!  if anyone feels like giving me some fodder for it please do so!!!

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