An introduction.....

OK, here goes!  I have never blogged before but I feel strongly that I need to get this stuff out of me and I figured a blog was better than a diary because it's easier for my friends and family to follow my journey and I hope it will help others in the same position as I am.
My name is Rachael and I am 37 years old.  I am married to James and have 2 beautiful daughters, Julia and Sophie.  They are 10 and 6 respectively.
I am obese.  I currently weigh 134.5kgs and I am only 167cms tall.  That gives me a BMI of  48.2!  I also have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, Type II Diabetes and Hypertension.  I am medicated for all these.
Finding out I had hypertension and that my diabetes was getting worse hit me very hard.  I do not want to die young, I do not want to be a burden on my family or society and I do not want to feel sick anymore.  So time to begin an action plan.
I have tried many diets.  Ask any overweight person and they will usually say the same thing.  For me, the one that had worked the best in the past was Weight Watchers.  So first thing I did was rejoin.  I am an 'online' member.  I do not attend meetings but I get the information and support from the website and message boards.  They are awesome.  The plan is a lifestyle change more than it is a diet, I like that and I need that.
The second part of this process came in the form of a man called JT.  He is working on the physical and fitness side of things.  I can't wait until I reach my final goal to be able to say to him 'I owe you my life'.  He's a friend of my husbands.  He heard about my situation and offered to help 'train' James (who has a few weight issues himself!) and I.  He does not charge us, thank God, because we wouldn't be doing it if he did!  He is so enthusiastic and has the kind of personality that is really suited to this type of work.  He probably doesn't realise the emotional roller coaster ride he is about to take with me but that's OK, he will soon!!! LOL.
I am very inspired by an American lady by the name of Ruby Gettinger.  Some of you may have heard of her, she has a show on pay TV and it's all about her weight loss journey.  Her blog is at http://www.mystyle.com/mystyle/shows/ruby/blog/index.jsp?categoryName=ruby
At her heaviest Ruby weighed 716lbs (that's 324kgs).  She has lost over half of that weight and is still on her journey.  It's a heartwrenching show to watch, to see all the emotion behind her weight and her addiction to food.  I feel such a resonance with her.  Ultimately it is her story that made me decide to blog.  I hope I too can inspire.
Ruby has her 'team' around her.  Doctors, trainers, friends, pastors and so on.  I like the term 'team' so let me introduce my 'team':
#1 Supporter, friend and confidant - James, my husband.  I'd be lost without him.
Trainer - JT, you've already met him.
Doctor - My GP, Dr Helen, is so supportive and kind.
Counsellor - we'll call her CB.  She is amazing.  She makes me feel that all the emotional stuff is OK.
Friends and family - you will meet them along the way but let me say from the start - I love them all so much, they are very important in my life.
And I am currently waiting on finding out if the Endocrinology unit the hospital will take me in as a patient.  Currently it is almost impossible to see an Endocrinolgist in this city privately, they have all closed their books.
So from now on I will be posting about my weight loss journey and much of it will be the emotional baggage that goes along with that.  Hence the name of my blog - I need to lose this emotional stuff to find the me that I hope is in there - the strong, determined woman who can fight this battle and win.